I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
