Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
