My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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