guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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