im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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