he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize