i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
