ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
