I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
