I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i out mim tonsoeep
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
