Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
