batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
