You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
