Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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