John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
