she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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