so explain again why im purple
no
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
