This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
