So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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