Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yo dont text me then not text me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
