Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
