He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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