Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
