guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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