True but thats because hes a fetus.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
