Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Boobs are out for the taking
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
