Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
