the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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