They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
