Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize