Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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