I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
