CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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