i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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