you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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