I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".