Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Congratulations! We have a period
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
