Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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