Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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