Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
