ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
