I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
