I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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