New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did I show you my penis last night?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
