Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
