NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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