She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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