so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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