And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I touched a dick in church today