she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.