you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.