is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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