Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
