You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
