I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
