Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
