perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
