so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
