Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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