Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
