Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
