Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
