But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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