woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
