By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
