Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
