she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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