Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
