I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
